subsurface

Sometimes hidden behind smiles and determination lays insecurities and anxiety. I often put on a confidence mask for the world or so I tell myself. Really the mask is for myself, I lie to myself to get through the day sometimes. I lie to myself to get myself up and out of bed. I used to drink this problem away, got my "conversation starter" in me. I haven't had to deal with this feeling inside of me until I stopped drinking in 2007. So much has bubbled to the surface, so many emotions and insecurities. It has taken a lot of work to deal with my subsurface.